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Monday, April 25, 2011 @ 11:36 PM
Reality, seems the most unreal. Life is deceiving really, it leads you down one path, and shows you all the signs that convinces you everything is going to be okay. And then like some sadistic child with an ant farm, life pulls the rug out from under your feet and leaves you wondering how it pulled such a fast one on you. The worst kind leaves you helpless and hopeless, forced to accept whatever it throws at you. Annoyed and enraged you may be with the cards at hand, the twist of cruel fate. I could almost smirk. You could be walking down a path, the sun shining and the sky is as blue as a robin's egg and the next it hits you like a locomotive travelling at top speed and everything changes. Is this why they say its always the calmest before a storm? All the world's a stage and the men and women merely players. Do we get to choose our script? Who chooses our set? Who is our audience? And while I firmly believe that we are masters of our own fate. This time I feel like a puppet. Not an actor, not a master, but a puppet. Shocked (well, not entirely), disappointed, numb, fearful, lost and in denial. Those are a few words I could use to describe how I feel. But you know what, at a loss for words would probably be quite apt as well. My thoughts are sporadic, they jump from question to question, to some which I don't even want to hear an answer. To some, I know the answer, but reject. To some, I chide myself for asking. To every beginning, there must be an end. While we can't very much help how we begin our story, we can choose the fashion in which we end. I advocate living life to the fullest. But how do people deal with the knowledge of an impending end? It is a painful waiting game we play. Do not be mistaken, I accept the idea of an end to a start, but today... Not today. But I know i'll keep on hoping till the end. I believe in miracles. I do.
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